Learning Your Child’s Love Language

Have you ever just stopped and told your child how much you love them in hopes that they understood the meaning of what you just said? Maybe as they laid on your lap you played with their hair, or tickled their back because you know it’s their favorite or it calms them. We all have our little love languages and as adults it seems much easier for us to understand but have we ever thought deeper about the little ones we love the most? How do they express their love? I mean the most important relationship of them all is the one we parents have with our children. If we can understand their love language we may just understand them better overall.

I can remember the moment it clicked with Roman; Anytime we watch movies Roman likes to lay his sweet little hand on mine, sometimes I find him resting his head on my arm, poking my leg with his toe (yay), or he will simply (this is my favorite) jump full speed onto the couch next to me and say “mommy I’ll sit here [next to me] and I’ll get the blanket and we can lay together and watch the movie!” He also is someone who loves words. He wants to be affirmed he’s doing a great job at something, it literally lights him up and gives him the biggest boost of confidence. He loves to tell everyone he loves them and loves to hear it even more in return. During our nightly bedtime routine we go through our “big much” list of how much everyone loves Roman and how much Roman loves them. This is his love language and I’m proud to be able to recognize it so I know how to connect with him best.

Here is a little break down of The 5 Love Languages:

•Affirming Words : Words of affection, Encouragement, Praise, “I love you”, “Great Job”, “You’re the Best!”, “You’re so smart”, “You look beautiful”

•Acts of Service : Things that you can do for your child that they see value in. Story time, nightly walks together, bike rides, finger painting, learning the ABCs, fix a broke item of theirs that they love – stuffed animal, blanket, toy .. you get the drift?

•Quality Time : Simply being present – this can translate into Acts of Service also. Teach them something they’ve been wanting to learn, wether it’s riding a bike, how to dribble a ball, read, the list goes on. Simply being present to your child goes a long way!

•Gifts : Leave a note in their lunch box, a reward for doing something great – potty training or sleeping on their own.

•Physical Touch : Braid their hair, rub their back, give them hugs, kisses, high fives, tickle their feet, comfort them when they don’t feel good, or are hurt with an embrace.

If you haven’t figured out yet what your little’s love language is I encourage you to take some time and think about the above. After all, figuring out their love language takes some engaging and some time but I can promise you once you figure it out, your bond will be stronger than before! Just remember patience and that how we fill ourselves may not work for them, but once you do feel free to fill up their tank with cuddles, I love you’s, and tokens of thought!